Buying Your First Vibrator? Here’s Everything You Need To Know - Par Femme

by Par Femme

Twenty six years of my life passed by before I had a sex toy to call my own. The vibrator was very pink, very huge, very dick-like, and very horrifying, but, despite its aesthetic foibles, a very thrilling addition to my sex life. In a way, its gaudiness made perfect sense to my brain at the time. The logic: vibrators were about as familiar to me as the creatures lurking in the deep blue sea (side note: Google "frill shark" if you feel like looking at something freaky), so why shouldn’t my bedroom drawer-dweller resemble a giant, fuchsia-coloured water alien? I welcomed it with open… arms… and a feeling that was cushioned somewhere between curiosity, terror, and delight.

After that, my life was irrevocably divided into two parts: L.B.V. (Life Before Vibrator) and L.A.V. (Life After Vibrator). In the L.B.V. days, I’d only ever stepped foot in a handful of tawdry adult stores (in my teens, always in company, never as a serious shopper, mostly to giggle), and vibrators were a largely underrepresented talking point in everyday conversations with friends. There was an undercurrent of curiosity, sure, but we weren’t as willing to discuss masturbatory accouterments as openly as you’d expect from women who grew up on a diet of Sex and The Cityand Dolly Doctor, and who were willing to go into explicit detail in just about every other thing in their lives. 

L.A.V., I can’t (/won’t) shut up about my damn vibrators. My collection has swelled to reflect this—with more nuanced, nimble and innovative apparatuses thrown on the heap—and I’ve come to realise (starting from a very naive standpoint, mind you), that they are so much more than just stand-ins for the D. If you haven’t yet graduated to the L.A.V. chapter of your life, here’s a handy guide to picking out the right vibrator for your needs/wants/desires, so you may never have to stare a gargantuan, phallic, pink monster in the eye like moi (unless, of course, that’s what you desire). Here goes!

Ask yourself,What shape and sensations do I want from my vibrator?
IDK about you, but when I used to think about vibrators, I’d picture a big bit of penis-shaped plastic. While these wand-like vibrators are still great and popular options, they can be a bit alarming for first-timers (take it from me). When determining the right shape for you, some good questions to ask yourself are: Do I want to focus on the clitoris, or the G-spot, or both? Do I enjoy localised sensations or do I want sensations that spread around my vulva? How sensitive am I to touch? Do I want to experience pleasure the same way every time, or do I want something more dynamic?

If you’re after something that will focus on your G-spot, the Gee Mini G-Spot Vibrator is the one to reach for (or, the Stronic G-Spot Vibrator if you’re after something extra strong), although if your clitoris is the one demanding all the attention, both the Fin Clitoral Massager and the Dame Eva II Hands-Free Clitoral Vibrator are sure to please. If you’re after a multitasker, might I *personally* recommend the Svakom Barbara Rabbit Vibrator as your tool of choice? 

And, if you're not too sure if you want internal or external stimulation? It's advised you go for an internal one, because you'll still be able to use it externally. Two birds! One vibe! The Je Joue Bullet Vibrator is the perfect do-it-all choice. 

Read as many reviews as is humanly possible 
Malcolm Gladwell reckons you need to spend 10,000 hours doing something before you can be considered a master of it, to which I say: who has that kind of time, Malcs? Collectively, the internet probably does, so get Googling to find out what IRL people are buying, using, and loving. PS: here's a list of detailed reviews we prepared earlier for you.

Grab some lube
Lube is often an afterthought when it comes to sex toys, but using it takes the pressure off your body to be the endless provider of bodily fluids. It also makes for a much smoother, much more enjoyable ride. Choose a body-safe lube (sans parabens and glycerin), like the Sliquid H2O Water-Based Lubricant or the Sutil Luxe Body Lubricant

Invest in quality materials 
A good vibrator is an investment, and, like with any big purchase, it's key that you read up on what your new toy is made of. Most top-shelf toys are made from100% medical grade silicone, like this silky smooth Svakom Clitoral Vibrator. When you choose a silicone product, you can be assured that it is hypoallergenic, latex-free, non-absorbent (won't hold onto bacteria), odourless, long-lasting, and easy to clean. And what's this about cleaning, you ask? Well, a mixture of warm water and soap is the most basic way to wash your toys, although there are a few products on the market that are specifically made for the task—like this tea tree foam wash or this Think Clean Thoughts anti-bacterial wash! 

Choose a vibrator you like to look at 
Initially I had no qualms with my fuchsia pink friend, but once I became more familiar with the concept of vibrators, I became less blind to its garishness, and therefore much less inclined to use it. Ugly, clunky toys are a real buzzkill. Lucky 4 u, there's no shortage of sleek, sxc vibrators out there, like the Olivia G-Spot Vibrator, which happens to look like an actual piece of art (meaning it won't look out of place sitting on your dresser). 

Be sure to find out how loud it is
This last tip is especially pertinent if you're living in shared quarters, take it from me. While noise levels are sometimes correlated with intensity levels, this shouldn't be much of an issue with higher-end toys. It's safe to say that most people would rather a quiet vibe, so it's definitely worth shelling out extra for a discreet toy like the Amy G-Spot Vibrator, which is as quiet as it is powerful (verrrry). 

If you're still not sure you're ready to take the plunge, be sure to pop any of your questions/thoughts in the comments section below. Happy shopping! 

Par Femme
Par Femme



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